


Tears

by Thea_rainbow



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Sad!Ben, Secret Relationship, in the closet Mike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 21:13:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3665244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thea_rainbow/pseuds/Thea_rainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Go! Go back to being a ladies’ man, go back to being a heart breaker, you can stop pretending to be single, because you are now!” Ben shut his eyes, feeling how the tears started to well over his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears

**Author's Note:**

> well i had to write something like that. because reasons :3

Knees hitting the stony ground, scraping and bruising and tears streaming down pale cheeks. Shaking hands and pleading eyes.

“GO!” Ben yelled, turning his face away, away from the train wreck that was their relationship.

“But Ben…” Mike pleaded, reaching out.

“Go! Go back to being a ladies’ man, go back to being a heart breaker, you can stop pretending to be single, because you are now!” Ben shut his eyes, feeling how the tears started to well over his face.

“Ben please…”

“No! You don’t get it.” Looking around in his garden, looking at the little table in one corner where their mobiles still were, Mike's screen still glowing, showing the message a friend sent him, asking if he was now coming to the blind date they set up for him. Beside the mobiles, the tea was still steaming.

“We agreed to not tell anyone!” Mike hefted himself up into a stand, still looking pleadingly at Ben.

“That was the condition I had to meet to ‘date’ you” spitting out the words, Ben felt his muscles going slack, he was just done, fearing everyday that Mike felt too exposed, that he would break up just because Ben smiled too often at him. Fear of him cheating on him just to proof that he was still in the game.

Shoulders slumped, Ben walked to the balcony door, stepping inside of the house before turning around and looking directly into Mike's red-rimmed eyes.

“Go, please. Take your shit with you. See you at work” With that, he went inside, upstairs and crashed onto the bed.

Mike stood there, speechlessly looking after Ben. He fucked up. Big time.

 He wanted to run after Ben, but he knew that would make it even worse than it already was.

Resenting he collected their phones from the small table and went inside, placing Ben's phone on the stairs before picking up his things on his way to the front door.

“I love you.” He whispered into the empty hallway, looking once around him before walking out of the house.

He had to do something, something to get Ben back and make everything okay again.

* * *

 

Breathing deep in and out, Ben tried to collect himself, feet away from the Sorted HQ, bracing himself to see Mike again.

Last breath in, before he went in, breathing out in release as he could not see one person in the main room. Smiling to himself, he placed his coat and bag on his place before going over to the kitchen picking up something he started yesterday.

And soon after, he had lost himself in his work, forgetting the dreading feeling in his gut or the slight fear in his throat.

But when the glass door was ripped open and two people came stumbling in, Ben came back and the fear with it in all forces.

Mike came in with Barry shortly after him, laughing and grinning like nothing happened yesterday.

‘You can do that too’ Ben thought to himself and forced a smile on his lips and a relaxed posture.

“Hey guys!” He leaned against the kitchen island and smiled at the two of them. They both looked startled for once and then Mike's expression changed into sadness, yearning.

“Ben...” He said but Ben shook his head, never wanting to talk about it.

Barry looked with a frown between the two of them but then shrugged.

“I just told Mike how much I am a failure in basic human instincts.” He laughed, coming around the counter to slap Ben's shoulder lightly.

“And what are you up to?”

“Well...” Ben looked pointedly at the ingredients scattered around the kitchen, the container holding something red.

“Experimenting. You are going  to be my guinea pigs later on!” Barry dipped his finger into the batter and tasted it before making a delighted sound.

“That is amazing!”

 “I know.” Ben laughed, feeling eyes on him but refusing to look at Mike.

‘Don’t look’ he thought, reminding himself every second while the eyes roamed over him.

“Now go.” He collected himself again, speaking to Barry with a happy voice.

“Do something useful.” And only then he looked at Mike, smiling at him, not with his eyes, because that muscle spasm he called a smile was hard enough.

“You get some too, if you behave.” Ben said lightly, spinning back around to collect some ingredients for a topping, turning his back to both of them.

“Ben?” This time it was Barry, frowning at his posture, unsure what to think of the slumped shoulders and the tight bunched muscles.

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep well.” Which was an understatement. He hasn't slept until 5 am and only then because his body finally collapsed. Waking up to a horrific dream and tear stains on his cheeks made the 2 hours he slept not really worth it.

“Should I brew a cup?” To that he nodded, smiling again as Barry patted his back before walking off to make Ben a tea, leaving Ben and Mike alone.

“Ben please...” he started, coming closer to the tired chef who held a hand up and rubbed his eyes with the other.

“I will act like nothing is up and I don’t care what you will do.” Breathing in, out and squaring his shoulders, Ben turned back to his baking.

“Just one more chance.”

“You had so many. So fucking many, and I always turned my back to them, trying not to think about how often you fucked it up and how often I had to forgive you. There will not be a 30th chance. You fucked that one out of the window when you kissed a girl instead of me.” Staring down at the batter, Ben felt overcome with sadness, sadness which had numbed him more than it had hurt him the night before, but now it wanted to rip him apart, crumble.

Teeth biting into the soft skin of his lips, drawing blood, as Ben held back a sob, crawling up his throat, spreading itself over his tongue.  When he knew he would not start crying when he opened his mouth, he said mournfully:

“Just leave me alone. “

He thanked heaven when Barry appeared, carrying mugs for Ben and himself into the room.

The tension in the room broke, letting Ben breathe a sigh of relief.

“Thanks Barry.” And Barry frowned again, at the feeling of the thank you.

“I just gave you a tea, not a house.” He joked, smiling and setting the mug down next to Ben's elbow before retrieving to his workstation.

“But it felt the same way.” Ben said back.

Ignoring the lingering presence.

* * *

 

In the evening, the crew settled around the table, moaning around food in their mouths and praises on the tips of their tongues. As the evening proceeded, it got quieter, until only a soft hum went through the people.

Then Mike stood up.

Ben had tried to ignore his ex, he tried so hard.

But he was used to the fact, that his eyes were the only thing Ben could touch Mike with when they were in public.  So his eyes always came back to the blond man, tracing and remembering his face.

So when he stood up, not everyone noticed, but Ben did instantly.

Clearing his throat to gain attention, Mike looked nervous, slightly ill under the lights of the studio.

Confusion made itself a place on the faces of most of the crew.

“Hey guys.” Mike said, his eyes jumping from person to person.

“I really have to tell you guys something.”

“I was in a relationship for the last 3 years.“ Confusion now.

“And I fucked it up. “

“Like usually” Jamie commented, but then threw a worried look at Ben who had sunk deeper into his chair, staring at Mike like he had grown a second head.

“Yes. Like usually,” Mike looked shortly down at his fingers but then directly at Ben.

“I pressured this person into not telling anyone because I was scared how you all would react. I was scared of being myself in front of you guys.“ he dropped his eyes once more, sitting down because he felt ridiculous standing.

“Ben, I am truly sorry for what I did to you in those 3 years, how often I hurt your feelings just by denying our love.” He stood up again, but this time he walked around the table until he stood behind Ben, waiting for him to turn around to face him.

“I realize that I don’t deserve you, that you are better than anything in this world. And I am sorry for what I did to you, for everything we missed, for everything I did. For everything I said.”

Tears were threatening to fall down on both of their cheeks, completely lost into each other, spacing out until only they existed.

“I love you so much. So freaking much. And every time I am not with you, my heart aches for you. I beg you, please, think about giving me another chance, giving me the final one. And I will promise you, I will swear to you, that I will do everything in my power to make this relationship the most amazing one on this planet.”

Falling into each others arms, pressing body on body until they were a mass of limbs, until the tears dried on their faces and calmed down slightly, only then Ben said quietly.

“A last one. But please, don’t break my heart once again.”

“I promise, I promise!” Mike chanted into Ben's shoulder, shaking with happiness.

 

* * *

 

When they finally parted, but not really because Mike never wanted to lose Ben's touch again, some of the crew already left but the main group was still there, eating the cake on their working stations in silence.

James was the first who looked up, smiling at the pair still standing next to the table.

“You guys are alright?” he asked softly, smiling when Ben nodded in return.

“Good and congratulations.”

“Thanks James.” Mike said, tightening his arm around Ben when the others looked up.

“Finally!” they groaned in unison and then giggled together like a bunch of kids.

“What?”

“As if we didn’t knew you like Ben since 7th grade, dude.” Jamie said, laughing loudly as Mike went red all over.

“Was that the reason why you made so much food today?” James raised an eyebrow at Ben who struggled then leaned back into Mike, enjoying the feeling of doing so in front of people.

* * *

 

“Mike!” Ben yelled when arms came around his hips and pulled him back against a familiar chest.

“What?” came a whisper next to his ear, making goosebumps race over his skin.

“Don’t scare me you idiot!”

Lips were placed on his neck, sliding down to the dip of his shoulder.

“How can I make it up to you?” Mike pressed those words with kisses into his skin.

“IF YOU WOULD STOP DOING THAT!” came Barry's voice not far away from them.

They both winced and sent their friend a slight smile.

“Sorry.” they both mumbled.

“Just keep it clean guys, okay?” Barry asked, trying to colour his voice with height he didn’t have and strength he lacked.

“Sure thing.” Mike said and dropped his chin to Ben’s shoulder, watching him as the chef went back to decorating something.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My lovely [Beta](littlegrayfishes.tumblr.com)  
> take a look at my [benxmike](benxmike.tumblr.com) blog  
> Say hi to [me](luvemishacollins.tumblr.com)


End file.
